Saturday, May 19, 2012
Learning from Cats
I witnessed the most fragile, tender, tense and beautiful exchange between a tom cat and a Ginger cat.
Talk about the power of movement in nature, this was a moment of pure theatre. I was literally transfixed as I watched the negotiation between these two cats, that held the potential promise of a vicious fight but at the same time a highly sexually charged pussy duet.
The Dance
1. Eyes locked between both cats
2. Tentatively like a prowling tiger the ginger advances
3. Tom arched his back but stays put
4. Ginger's movement is so controlled I see muscle contractions travel through her
5. Both are making those wonderfully mystic cat noises that enhance my anxiety as a nervous cat person and hater of conflict
6. The Tom cat strong and still
7. The ginger taking a risk
8. The ginger starts to lower her body in a submissive way, and then becomes incredibly sexy. Her body was so appealing I was under her spell. She lowered her head and made it clear she was there for him
9. Without moving Tom grew and seemed to tower over her
10. The energy was electric
They didn't make love in front of my eyes but it was more than that. I felt honored to have witnessed such a primal encounter. I was never sure what the next move would be. I was on the edge of separating them in a stupid human interfering way, I am so glad I didn't.
I love saturdays like this.
Friday, May 11, 2012
FXXk up diary!
I just can't believe myself sometimes, for someone who is grounded and at times intelligent i can be sooo stupid, I really am a born idiot.
To mention a few recent events:
I am staying at my friends house, which always gives me houseguest paranoia as I try to be small and mouselike, taking up as little space as possible. On my first day I manage to lock her husband and two young children in the house and set the alarm off. I realise that I take instructions too literally, as I had been told to swipe the alarm and lock the door when I leave the house, that was my going round my head like a mantra and then I failed to consider that the house was not empty. I ran back down the street to the house where her husband (who had cronic stomach pains that day) was shouting to unlock the door and asking me why I did it! I opened it and was met by the 4 puppy dog, scared stiff eyes of the children who must wonder why I have come into their lives and how soon I could leave.
There are so many examples of my stupidness, it hard being me...
Today I superglued my tongue and fingers together
I looked at my digital watch to figure out which way clockwise was!
Monday, March 12, 2012
My Ridiculous Life
I sometimes feel like I live in a cartoon or a very heightened reality.
I entertain myself with the tiniest of moments in my days that I spend increasingly on my own.
My growing dilemma is with the shop keepers in my neighbourhood, inparticular the ones on the high rd that I live on.
We have a strip of shops, all selling fruit and veg in bowls for £1 each, or '5 bowls for £4' they ALL say with the pleasure of the first time it was said as if they were the only shop saying it. I used to shop at the first one that I would arrive at from my house, bar the one directly over the road the isles are too narrow and I don't like the owner. So the one after that is the large one with about 7 - 10 members of staff that work all day beyond my waking hours selling an array of products from around the world. The male workers stand outside next to the bowls, '5 for £4' and start filling up a basket for me if is so much as look at in the direction of a bowl. So yes I would politely buy the veg that they kindly selected for me and leave feeling smug that i had supported the community and no longer needed to shop at sainsburys for anything other than the 'essentials'. This soon wore off when 2 meters later would be greeted by another shop owner equally as charming saying '5 for £4' with puppy dog, my life depends on this sale eyes, in which case I would pretend that yes I needed a..... lemon, not 10 just one I'd say, but 10 was cheaper so I would take them and turn to leave. As I turned to leave on my first visit to this shop, the previously smiley owner notices the other bags in my hands, and takes it upon himself to riffle through these bags asking where I got these from as if the bag were full of illegal goods. I said you know where I got them from, he said well you need to shop here from now on my veg is fresh every day.
Now I can't so much as pass his shop without buying something, I go in and ask for something that I actually want, which he doesn't have and leave with something I don't want because I feel guilty.
TBC
I entertain myself with the tiniest of moments in my days that I spend increasingly on my own.
My growing dilemma is with the shop keepers in my neighbourhood, inparticular the ones on the high rd that I live on.
We have a strip of shops, all selling fruit and veg in bowls for £1 each, or '5 bowls for £4' they ALL say with the pleasure of the first time it was said as if they were the only shop saying it. I used to shop at the first one that I would arrive at from my house, bar the one directly over the road the isles are too narrow and I don't like the owner. So the one after that is the large one with about 7 - 10 members of staff that work all day beyond my waking hours selling an array of products from around the world. The male workers stand outside next to the bowls, '5 for £4' and start filling up a basket for me if is so much as look at in the direction of a bowl. So yes I would politely buy the veg that they kindly selected for me and leave feeling smug that i had supported the community and no longer needed to shop at sainsburys for anything other than the 'essentials'. This soon wore off when 2 meters later would be greeted by another shop owner equally as charming saying '5 for £4' with puppy dog, my life depends on this sale eyes, in which case I would pretend that yes I needed a..... lemon, not 10 just one I'd say, but 10 was cheaper so I would take them and turn to leave. As I turned to leave on my first visit to this shop, the previously smiley owner notices the other bags in my hands, and takes it upon himself to riffle through these bags asking where I got these from as if the bag were full of illegal goods. I said you know where I got them from, he said well you need to shop here from now on my veg is fresh every day.
Now I can't so much as pass his shop without buying something, I go in and ask for something that I actually want, which he doesn't have and leave with something I don't want because I feel guilty.
TBC
IT's BEEN A WHILE
Blogging has been on my mind but not so easy to turn my hand to this term.
A bit like I have to choose between experiencing or blogging, like in DV8's "Can we talk about this" do i watch the movement or listen to the dense, verbatim text? It's hard to choose and i'm sure that's the point in this politically driven piece but can I be 'moved' by their movement or just their words. I was amazed by their dancing but was left wondering why it had to be 80 mins when they had said it in less, why dance is dominated by solos and duos, where the climax was and why when they bow there is no sense of achievement in their bodies. Do they lack complicity? of course they have a working relationship that relies on safety, trust, perfect timing and syncranisity but I think true complicity is more. It touches and infects the audience in a different way to the qualities that circus and dance troupes have. It is a delight to be onstage with that person in front of all of us. It is boyant and alive (why is it all the words that I like at the moment get rejected by my spell check!)
Interestingly the research part of my course has been very stimulating. My group is looking at Voice and Movement in actor training taught through play. Which is why the DV8 production is on my mind as I become more interested in voice and movement and how they can enhance each other.
I'm still not sure what movement direction is too me, mainly because as a director I come at all work from the movement, the feelings, the reason to move in a very light way which links mainly to game. So as a director I am a movement director but this is not the way in everyone's eyes. This is exciting but all also confusing when I try to single out the movement and I always return to voice, emotion, game, relationship, game.... on my journey.
Pedagog - I demonstrate less, I work with clarity, imagery (still finding the balance of what works for me and what works for them on this), I see them more and more. I encourage them to take space in the room and exist without me, hence less demonstration. I tune in with their rhythm more and more.
I love this city actually, surprisingly.
A bit like I have to choose between experiencing or blogging, like in DV8's "Can we talk about this" do i watch the movement or listen to the dense, verbatim text? It's hard to choose and i'm sure that's the point in this politically driven piece but can I be 'moved' by their movement or just their words. I was amazed by their dancing but was left wondering why it had to be 80 mins when they had said it in less, why dance is dominated by solos and duos, where the climax was and why when they bow there is no sense of achievement in their bodies. Do they lack complicity? of course they have a working relationship that relies on safety, trust, perfect timing and syncranisity but I think true complicity is more. It touches and infects the audience in a different way to the qualities that circus and dance troupes have. It is a delight to be onstage with that person in front of all of us. It is boyant and alive (why is it all the words that I like at the moment get rejected by my spell check!)
Interestingly the research part of my course has been very stimulating. My group is looking at Voice and Movement in actor training taught through play. Which is why the DV8 production is on my mind as I become more interested in voice and movement and how they can enhance each other.
I'm still not sure what movement direction is too me, mainly because as a director I come at all work from the movement, the feelings, the reason to move in a very light way which links mainly to game. So as a director I am a movement director but this is not the way in everyone's eyes. This is exciting but all also confusing when I try to single out the movement and I always return to voice, emotion, game, relationship, game.... on my journey.
Pedagog - I demonstrate less, I work with clarity, imagery (still finding the balance of what works for me and what works for them on this), I see them more and more. I encourage them to take space in the room and exist without me, hence less demonstration. I tune in with their rhythm more and more.
I love this city actually, surprisingly.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Back in the flow
After a month off its great to be back.
This term i'm into slow cooking and have time for everything.
Bikram yoga is back for the second time this time a 20 day intensive. This appeals to my competitive nature with myself.
The challenges that I set for me last longer than the ones shared with others.
Don't collect.
My Love.
Vivid dreams.
Chillin out inside.
Getting inside an exercise.
This term i'm into slow cooking and have time for everything.
Bikram yoga is back for the second time this time a 20 day intensive. This appeals to my competitive nature with myself.
The challenges that I set for me last longer than the ones shared with others.
Don't collect.
My Love.
Vivid dreams.
Chillin out inside.
Getting inside an exercise.
Friday, December 16, 2011
The END for now
Why does it feel so good to write those words?
Because I am emotionally, physically and mentally drained after this term. I am sure that the commute has a part to play and I think my re location for next term will help in that department.
Physically we don't have any many practical movement sessions as I would like but cycling has keep me active and strong so I can be pleased for that.
I love to cycle away from something and feel the freedom of traveling swiftly and independently whether in a solid direction or a meandering flow I am off somewhere.
I think because this MA is the reason I have cut of from other links and work and it isn't integrated into my life, it is my life, means that I expect alot from it. I always wanted to do something like this alongside working in the industry as normal but this isn't really happening yet.
I feel a bit stuck in this land of reflection and it's killing me softly.
But I also have a problem when I think about the next course, about going to Gaulier next year for example? do I need to this, is it excessive, my feeling is no.
So I need to be happy with my i am here now and what may happen as a result.
To write and articulate my practice is good for me, because it is hard.
Wow so many short sentences with full stops at the end, I am finding this hard obviously. The boxing off is pissing me off and it always has. How can I keep my spirit alive, the passion for doing what I do?
Okay i'm going to pack for home and continue this later.
I full term one analysis is coming! in some form anyway, i need to put it in it's place and not as an almighty weight for me to bear.
Because I am emotionally, physically and mentally drained after this term. I am sure that the commute has a part to play and I think my re location for next term will help in that department.
Physically we don't have any many practical movement sessions as I would like but cycling has keep me active and strong so I can be pleased for that.
I love to cycle away from something and feel the freedom of traveling swiftly and independently whether in a solid direction or a meandering flow I am off somewhere.
I think because this MA is the reason I have cut of from other links and work and it isn't integrated into my life, it is my life, means that I expect alot from it. I always wanted to do something like this alongside working in the industry as normal but this isn't really happening yet.
I feel a bit stuck in this land of reflection and it's killing me softly.
But I also have a problem when I think about the next course, about going to Gaulier next year for example? do I need to this, is it excessive, my feeling is no.
So I need to be happy with my i am here now and what may happen as a result.
To write and articulate my practice is good for me, because it is hard.
Wow so many short sentences with full stops at the end, I am finding this hard obviously. The boxing off is pissing me off and it always has. How can I keep my spirit alive, the passion for doing what I do?
Okay i'm going to pack for home and continue this later.
I full term one analysis is coming! in some form anyway, i need to put it in it's place and not as an almighty weight for me to bear.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Ha Hello
Lots has been going on, research, anatomy my way, socialising, teaching, reflecting, wanting to be elsewhere BIG TIME, rushes of inspriation, the space between is what im playing for, the future, the present but rarely the past, rectus femerous, owning it, the movement director, love far away, voice my voice, tension, imagary, release, persona, an enormus sense of wellbeing, more than just yoga!, the pleasure of boring things, I am what I am....
Finding a connection through body and voice, emotion in the voice and the capacity to play your role through what you are really feeling experiencing.
Presentation 2 - I want to communicate something well. I want to stay connected to my audience. I want to give accessible, useable advice. I think I did this on tuesday when talking about how an actress would play the role of a pregnant character.
Why has my writing on here become less poetic and free?, why does this happen?, my source of inspiration seems to be in the building more than outside. So I think my learning has become a bit tunnel vision and maybe this has left me flat. I do want to tunnel myself because I think it is necessary but I also feel connected to my knowlege when I open my senses and live. To make it real is how I own it. I need to trust that.
I had a lovely sense of me on my way this week with a big difference in the work I presented compared to my peers I was happy. I mean happy in the knowledge that I was less technical, included less aquired knowledge as them but that I did the task my way. I learned from it.
I take the notes that they give me and I must plod on and keeping working my way.
Its the first time for years that I don't know what is round the corner which seems strange as I havn't had regular work for 6 years which is normal, but this sensation is different. I am living in a new place, completley new, I am in love, I think i'm taking a risk, I am starting a new chapter out here and in me.
Some things I heard this week...
Actors want to feel but they would be better sensing
Actors are the creators, the team around them just support it
As a movement person working with actors keep your powder dry don't be a 'movement person'
Work with the actor, in their language
Hold back, let them do it. Don't be a wonderful mover it's not useful
The movement musn't overtake the expression
Keep the warm up, gestural rooted in pedestrian movements
use voice - actors need it
be very focused on the aim of the movement session
Finding a connection through body and voice, emotion in the voice and the capacity to play your role through what you are really feeling experiencing.
Presentation 2 - I want to communicate something well. I want to stay connected to my audience. I want to give accessible, useable advice. I think I did this on tuesday when talking about how an actress would play the role of a pregnant character.
Why has my writing on here become less poetic and free?, why does this happen?, my source of inspiration seems to be in the building more than outside. So I think my learning has become a bit tunnel vision and maybe this has left me flat. I do want to tunnel myself because I think it is necessary but I also feel connected to my knowlege when I open my senses and live. To make it real is how I own it. I need to trust that.
I had a lovely sense of me on my way this week with a big difference in the work I presented compared to my peers I was happy. I mean happy in the knowledge that I was less technical, included less aquired knowledge as them but that I did the task my way. I learned from it.
I take the notes that they give me and I must plod on and keeping working my way.
Its the first time for years that I don't know what is round the corner which seems strange as I havn't had regular work for 6 years which is normal, but this sensation is different. I am living in a new place, completley new, I am in love, I think i'm taking a risk, I am starting a new chapter out here and in me.
Some things I heard this week...
Actors want to feel but they would be better sensing
Actors are the creators, the team around them just support it
As a movement person working with actors keep your powder dry don't be a 'movement person'
Work with the actor, in their language
Hold back, let them do it. Don't be a wonderful mover it's not useful
The movement musn't overtake the expression
Keep the warm up, gestural rooted in pedestrian movements
use voice - actors need it
be very focused on the aim of the movement session
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